Have you ever been in a situation where you find yourself at a loss for words? You replay the conversation over and over, always with the perfect response after the fact. Would you like to be more eloquent with your jibes? To honor the anniversary of Shakespeare’s passing on April 23, 1616, I have chosen some of The Bard’s most brilliant and brutal barbs for you to tuck in your pocket for the perfect moment.
“I think thou art an ass”
~The Comedy of Errors
“The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.”
~The Comedy of Errors
“More of your conversation would infect my brain.”
~Coriolanus
“Away, you three-inch fool!”
~The Taming of the Shrew
“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.”
~Othello
“I am sick when I do look on thee.”
~A Midsummer Night’s Dream
“Poisonous, bunch-backed toad!”
~Richard III
“Thou art unfit for any place but hell.”
~Richard III
“Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.”
~King Lear
“Thou crusty botch of nature!”
~Troilus and Cressida
“This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure.”
~All’s Well That Ends Well
“Villain, I have done thy mother.”
~Titus Andronicus
There you have a short list of eloquent disses to hold in your arsenal. Considering the massive body of Shakespeare’s works, a record of every put-down he has written would be quite extensive. Stay classy, dear readers!
